Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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