dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
