billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
