11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
