90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you didnt know i had herpes?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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