Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
