Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
