I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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