My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I just blew my weed a kiss
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
