I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
It was confusing and full of hummus
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I think your dad took our porno
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
