HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize