she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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