For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
