I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
