i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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