Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
