you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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