my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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