pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
