Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize