We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
