you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
