I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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