i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
