u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
