god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
