Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize