So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
