It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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