Sry I called you an 8
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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