my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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