I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
