Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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