Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
