so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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