I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
