pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
