im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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