It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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