Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Randomize
