It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
