We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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