I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize