Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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