What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
