took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
