btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
