walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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