Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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