Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Come see our sink grown plant.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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