Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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