um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
honey bunches of taint.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
