hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
