it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
