He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She even gives head with a lisp.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I love you.
Bad choice
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