Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
