I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
