remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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