is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
