***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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