ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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